It seems that while I was busy staring listlessly out the window (God, I'm tired. Soup and bread are not enough to eat for lunch, and the couch in the corner is looking very comfy--why are there no siesta breaks in this country?), other people were reading and writing reviews of Biff Bam Pow! by Evan Dorkin and Sarah Dyer, as well as of Dork #11 and the Milk and Cheese Toys.

I will share what I have learned from these reviews with you. These lessons should not be taken for actual wisdom or insight. Instead, someone should bring me a smoothie or something because I'm crashing.

First, Ain't It Cool News has a logo for its independent comics review section (Indie Jones) that has stabbed-out cigarettes and coffee mug rings on it. Because indie comics are all about being nicotene-and-caffeine addled. (Speaking of, a cup of Earl Grey sounds really good right now.)

AICN still does that charming '90s-era Internet thing in which everyone uses a "handle," and the reviewer "superhero" gives Biff Bam Pow! a read: "BIFF-BAM-POW! is a fun romp and actually has a very old school comics feel to it. It’s humorous without being crass and Dorkin’s illustrations are full of a vitality and crispness that really isn’t seen in many comics these days. It’s a style of comic that just isn’t around as much as it used to be, and if anything BIFF-BAM-POW! had me feeling a bit nostalgic for the way some comics used to be--or at least the way some kids entertainment used to be: funny but with a bit of an edge."

That's some nice reviewin'. If it had been me writing it, I'd want my name on it. "Superhero" is a humbler and better person than I.

In Silver Bullet Comic Books' review of Biff Bam Pow!, I learned that no one reads Nickelodeon Magazine. And it sounds true to me! Because, after all, I don't read Nickelodeon Magazine! But maybe I should. Michael Deeley declares that Biff Bam Pow, "is packed with humor and style from cover to cover. Literally." This is something those of you unfamiliar with comics from House of Fun should know: If there is the slightest bit of room for more gags and art, there will be more gags and art. In this way Evan and Sarah reward you even while punishing themselves. But rewarding you is its own reward, from what I understand.

Reward yourself by picking up a copy of Biff Bam Pow! at the SLG webstore or at your local comics store, if they have it.

All right, so Biff Bam Pow! is a comic that's good for the kiddie set. But Dork #11 is NOT. No, that's not something I learned. That's just something I know within the very core of my being. What I learned from the review at Pop Matters is that apparently Hot Topic should be carrying Dork instead of Johnny the Homicidal Maniac. No, actually we should be shipping copies of it to them and other stores -- whether those stores have ordered them or not, presumably. Seeing as Hot Topic does not carry our comics anymore, not would be the answer there.

ANYWAY. The review of Dork #11 by Monte Williams is actually quite interesting and insightful in a way that does not make for pull quotes. Wait, here we go: "...it’s among the most inviting and rewarding comics I read all year..."

So, remember the Milk and Cheese Toys? They have been cruelly ignored by most of the fancy-pants designer toy industry, but the Plastic and Plush blog names them in the "Best Packaging" category of their Toy Awards: "The oversize box is colorful and has a great, full-length comic on the back." The toys themselves are pretty cool, too. Milk and Cheese, see, are allowed to be violent and obnoxious in a way that we are not. Thus, they speak to our inner frustrations and shadow selves, the Mr. Hydes within our Dr. Jekyll exteriors. So obviously when they're put in vinyl form and come with weapons, they are what we most need in the whole world.

"I will make one thing clear: this was the single best comic book of 2006 and nothing else even came close." What comic could Marc Mason be lauding? Guess! No, not Civil War, silly! He is of course writing about Dork #11 by Evan Dorkin, which he names one of the "10 Essentials" at Comics Waiting Room.

So you've heard it a kazillion times now. Dork #11 is damned funny and worthy of your attention. It is my goal to sell out the first printing so that Evan can fix that missing comma. Won't you please help us meet this goal? For the sake of commas and the cartoonists who care about them everywhere, ask for Dork #11 at your local comic book store.

I forgot one!

Review of Dork #11 at the Comics Reporter. Tom Spurgeon also cites a "confessional subtext," but the way he writes about it doesn't strike that "eeeyuugh" nerve that the one at Sequart did. "The overall effect is of performance, the creative act shines through more than the creation."

However, I don't quite understand why both Spurgeon and Clough use the "Bad Dad" page as an example of Evan's anxieties as a new(ish) father coming through. As my matronly relatives are fond of reminding me, there are some things one can't understand unless they are blessed with progeny, so the fact that I don't see the connection there could be due to my... err... lack. Is it supposed to mean that Evan is afraid that he is emotionally scarring his daughter unconsciously, and this is symbolized by a man trying to trade his kid for a "rim job and a piss shower" from a prostitute? (I could be quoting that dialog wrong, but you get the idea.)

I feel really naive now. I can see the headlines: DUMB EDITOR MISSES SUBTEXT.

Wait! There's that one strip where people are cooing about a baby and saying she has her mother's eyes and such. Then the baby lets loose a string of profanity, and the cooing people quip, "And her father's mouth." I saw that as commentary on the anxieties of parenting. It made me think about how Christopher wrote about Ava learning to say "Shit!" when something bad and unexpected happens. So maybe I'm not entirely dull.

Well, well, well. It seems that there are scores and scores of reviews of Evan Dorkin's Dork #11, which, in case you haven't heard, is funny. In addition to this information you should also know that Evan Dorkin is quite possibly the funniest man in comics. Don't take my word for it! You should, but I understand wanting to get your opinions from multiple sources not affiliated with the company that publishes said Dork #11. You are savvy information consumers. Time magazine wouldn't have named you -- yes, you -- Person of the Year otherwise. So here are some new sources of delicious information:

Bookgasm (oh my!) writes that "Evan Dorkin’s non-linear, rapid-fire collection of bizarre twists on the usual jokes has been the funniest comic book ever for the past five years."

But Variety's Bags and Boards aren't the type to taken in by mere funny. Oh no. They require something more from a book full of gags. They want masturbation jokes that make them think, dammit, masturbation jokes with "punch." (Eh heh.) So they give it only a C.

Maybe they should have talked to the folks at Sequart. Because Rob Clough thinks there's plenty to think about in Dork #11. Not only does he explain to you why a one-panel gag about a porn star who takes it up the ass is funny, but he also psychoanalyzes its author at no additional charge. Check it out: "The latter strip speaks not only to the antipathy he feels toward his own father, but there's also an extra undercurrent of discomfort now that Dorkin himself is a father." Wow! I bet when Evan read that, he started crying like Matt Damon in Good Will Hunting when Robin Williams keeps telling him "It's not your fault." Thank you, Rob Clough! We have some other cartoonists that have some... issues, shall we say -- could you please review their work and offer an analysis of their fragile psyches based on said work? Thanks eversomuch.

All right... moving on from Dork #11 reviews. Do you know that every year my New Year's resolution is to be less mean? I suck. Or to analyze myself, perhaps I sarcastically denigrate others in order to passive-aggressively assert what I perceive as my intellectual superiority, at the same time revealing my own crippling fears of inferiority. Oh... god... a breakthrough!

Right. There's an interview with Evan at Jazma!, which actually doesn't have an exclamation mark in its title, but I'm compelled to add one. And there is an article about the Milk and Cheese figures we have in the works, and other toy projects Evan's doing, at Field's Edge.

Mmm. I really should add an image to this post, but I'll do that later. Lunch is here.

More interviews with Dork creator Evan Dorkin are out there on the Internets, and I will compile the links here so that you don't have to tire yourselves out looking for them.

First, two podcasts! There is some sort of movement to get people to call these "netcasts" so that Apple doesn't pee its pants. What do you think? Frankly, I don't really care. Anyway, you can not only experience an interview with Evan Dorkin but experience it aurally at Comic Book Haters and Comic Timing.

There's an old-fashioned, you-gotta-read interview at Faster Than the World, too.--
--

And since things are quiet around here, I wil regale you with an office anecdote that involves the kind of humor that we all should strive for--that is, potty humor and puns. Brought to you by Dan Vado.

SCENE: I dunno, somewhere in the office where we were talking about supplies needed for the office. I'm going to make up who starts this portion of the conversation because I can't quite remember it.

JOE: I think we need toilet paper.

JENNIFER: You know, Nonni always buys so much toilet paper, and I always think, We'll never use all of that! and yet we do.

DAN: There are a lot of assholes in this office.

BA-DOOM-CHING!

All right, this is when I sit you all down, tape your eyelids open and force you to read a whole bunch of reviews of Dork #11. Don't bother saying, "But I don't HAVE to click on the links!" You do. Don't cross me.

Now for the blog assault!

First one is at Chris's Invincible Super-Blog, which has, like, a little Bruce Lee head as its icon. Scroll down a bit to read the review of Dork #11, which he names "Best of the Week." (I typed that as "Best of the Wee" at first. Heh.) Writes Chris, who does not specify if he also is invincible and super or if it's just his blog, "Evan Dorkin is unquestionably the funniest man working in comics today, and this might just be the funniest comic book I've ever read."

Jog the Blog has a review, too: "There probably isn’t a ton of useful things I can say about an all-gag comic book beyond 'it’s funny,' so let me just wrap that up in sentence #1: Dork #11 is a funny book."

Dirk Deppey at The Comics Journal decides to try a little emulation of Dork #11's all-gag-strip format by writing his review as a series one-sentence paragraphs, like, "The third thing I thought was, 'Let's see -- it's jam-packed with gags, many of them funny gags, and despite being just 24 pages it actually takes a while to read it.'" But he gives up after six paragraphs because it's not working out. This just goes to show you how committed Evan is to his concept. Ayup.

The Johnny Bacardi Show declareth, "30 pages'* worth of throwing crap at the wall, and lo and behold, 95% of it sticks!" Scroll down to read the review. Do NOT click on the cover of Dork #11 thinking it will jump you down to the review, like I did. It just takes you to ImageShack.
*Actually, it's 24, 26 if you count the inside covers, which also have had crap thrown at them. -Ed.

Once again, you have to scroll down to read the review, this time at Comics Nexus, which declares Dork #11 its "Star of the Week." But it's worth it because you get this: "A few years in the making, Dork #11 is the cure to depression and de-com-pression!" HA! Get it? He totally zings decompressed storytelling! TAKE THAT!

Scott Cederlund's review at PopSyndicate left me a bit bemused (which, kids, I am using in order to illustrate that it DOES NOT mean "amused") because he wrote, "He tears down icons like The Thing and Tin Tin even while using them as punch lines," which doesn't quite work on a logical level for me, and I am a very logical person. But who cares about my weird problems, right? The final verdict: "No idea is too silly or insensitive or stupid not to get drawn and published. Luckily Evan Dorkin can pull off a book like this." Yep, nothing is too silly or insensitive or stupid for us! Well, as long as it's funny. And if you're paying attention (you're paying attention, right?), you will have realized by now that most people think that Dork #11 is funny.

If you feel like you're reliving the past when you read the first sentence of Shrillmatic's review of Dork #11, don't worry. Time and space are still functioning according to its normal rules. And, besides, this sentence has an important addition in its last two words: "Dork is easily the funniest series in comics, and Evan Dorkin's one of the best gag cartoonists in the business, so go buy this."

Both of the Savage Critics, Brian Hibbs and Graeme MacMillan, review Dork #11.

That's Plenty has something to inform you in their review of Dork #11: "Dorkin is still probably one of the funniest cartoonists still operating in comics."

And just so Evan's well-known high opinion of himself doesn't get too out of control, Entertainment Etcetera is there to keep things real, yo: "The whole issue is wall-to-wall one-panel or four-panel 'gags', and usually with such a plethora of comedy being thrown out, certainly a few are going to come up hit or miss, but instead this issue of Dork is Saturday Night Live, the Anthony Michael Hall year. Ouch."

Did you see that? How he replied "Ouch" to his own "zing"? As I told Evan earlier (I mention this because I always find it odd when I read in someone's blog something that they had told or emailed me before they posted their blog. I want to say, "HEY! You totally USED ME as your test audience for that! Gimme five bucks!")... Anyway, I says to Evan, I says, I didn't know you could "ouch" your own zings unless you're pointing out that, yeah, you're perfectly aware that the zing was really lame. Let's just give Graig Kent the benefit of the doubt, since he's written nice reviews for Rex Libris, and assume that's what he's doing here.

Now, brace yourselves, because I'm going to pull that tape off your eyelids. Go forth, kids, and get yourself some Dork. I will send a free copy to the first person who bothers to count the number of times variations of the words "zing" and "funny" appear in this post.

October started a week late for SLG, which is fine with me because, gee yeesh does time need to slow the hell down! It doesn't realize how difficult its ridiculously fast movement is for those of us who need to do a bunch of stuff.

 

Like get comics printed and in stores. We still manage to do that, and this week, you will find in stores:

Dork #11 by Evan Dorkin
24-page comic book (featuring 526 panels!), $2.95

Finally! Over three years in the procrastination, with a budget of hundreds of dollars, Evan Dorkin’s award-winning humor anthology returns with an issue so incredible, so stupendous, and so friggin’ magnificent that we just had to call it “Dork #11”. Lovingly presented in the much-maligned and unfashionable “pamphlet” format, Dork #11 features over 200 (!) “Fun” strips and single panel gags within its panel-drenched, ink-soaked pages. Some humorous in effect, others, well, we’re not so sure. But who cares? Containing more diverting bathroom reading bang for your buck than any other comic in this damned catalogue, Dork #11 is THE funnybook bargain of the year! Unless, of course, it isn’t.(PLEASE NOTE: Dork #11 is for entertainment purposes only. Packaged by volume and not by weight. Void where prohibited.)

Emo Boy #9 by Steve Emond
24-page (but more like 48!), $2.95

The first ever "Choose Your Own Emo" issue finds the reader choosing Emo Boy's path through time and space! When Emo Boy meets a mad scientist, his emo powers are finally put to use in the creation of a time machine. This Emo Boy sci-fi issue can be read and re-read with its tangents, multiple storylines and many endings! Each read-through is a new experience!

I know I wrote earlier that Dork #11 would be in stores on October 4, but some unidentified delay put it in stores on October 11 instead. That's all right--it simply gave you another week to fidget in your knickers in anticipation. And after four years, what's a week, right?

You now have two more days to wait before you can get your hands on Dork #11, so use them well by reading and listening to interviews with creator Evan Dorkin. Tom Spurgeon interviews Evan at The Comics Reporter, where you can, in addition to reading what Evan has to say about gag cartoons and his influences, see a lot of art from the issue, including the "People are such assholes" monkey gag that I like so much. "If Other Media Were as Sad as Comic Books" is actually just as depressing as it is funny. Sigh. And if you just can't get enough¹ Dorkin, you can listen to a two-and-a-half hour interview with him at Comic Timing.

1. Cue early Depeche Mode synth.

Evan Dorkin's "Fisher-Price Theater" is rightfully legendary among the right sort of comic book aficianados, and evidenty BookNinja's Ron Hogan is among those, as he points to Evan's adaptation of John Steinbeck's Of Mice and Men in a recent post as the example of the gold standard of comic book literary adaptations.

Y'know, Steinbeck specifically wrote Of Mice and Men in such a way that it would work equally well as a book, a stage play and a movie. And of course as a comic strip adaptation with the parts played by Fisher-Price Little People. (Having once been depicted looking somewhat like a Fisher-Price Little People figure myself, I think I can authoratively assert that there is no nuance of personality that a spherical, smiling head atop a cylindrical body cannot capture.)

Remember, kids, the much-anticipated Dork #11 is due to be in stores on October 4! It is 24-pages of nuttin' bug gags, puns, laffs, larfs, and guffaws. And stuff that's really, really foul. I mean really. You will love it.

I will give you a glimpse, just because I like this panel: